tears of an angel

One of my favorite songs by ryandan, tears of an angel. And it's about hotch!

:(

I don't know why I'm even relating this. I guess I just have to get it off my chest. And for all two of you who read this, I don't care.

I walked into the nursing home today to get my check, and one of the older nurses was talking about me to another nurse. I was confused and inquired what she was talking about.

"Your admission you did about a week and a half ago wasn't completed right." She started naming off all the things I had done wrong and said "You really should be written up for all
this."

I was shocked and I tried to defend myself (as usual) but it was clear I had missed some stuff. "I'm young. I'm still learning..." I persisted.

The older nurse gave me a look like I should know everything already.

"I'm sorry." I finally said.

"Sorry isn't good enough." She motioned to the other nurse. "SHE has to finish what you didn't do. She has enough work of her own."

Don't they know I jump through flaming hoops to try to make sure my work is done so it's not pushed on anybody else? I've been at work past 11, 12, even 1 in the morning to try to finish stuff. Yet it doesn't matter. I always manage to screw up somehow.

So I'm angry and upset. Admissions are really difficult and theres alot of stuff to do with that beyond all my usual work with my 20-some odd patients. Yes. So I miss stuff. Vital stuff that threatens my license. It took me a long time to get that license, and it only takes one bad-enough mistake to loose it.

Forget it...seems like being a nurse isn't worth the stress and the trouble.

...but this is what God wanted me to be. And He will see me thru....

"intensely cheerful"

Which Lord of the Rings Character Are You?

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apparently I am an elf. :)

miss scarlet in the study with the wrench

So yesturday i was at work, doing my second double (16 hr day). It was insane. I had one fall and a pt vomited, but that wasnt the worst. i was really sick with a head cold, conjestion and post nasal drip ew. And I used up an entire box of tissues (provided by the nursing home :)) Anyways, I did have a good moment. I had some free time in the morning after my first med pass before lunch (when does THAT happen??) and my aide was on break, so I was watching the floor. I was reading Psalm 78. It was so good. Then I was talking to a pt, and he said he was back-slidden. I was trying to encourage him in the Lord, and i was trying to witness to him. I had my Bible out ready to read the psalm. But then he got distracted (he has underlying dementia) and decided to comb his hair. Oh well... maybe next time. Then I left my Bible in the med cart and went home without it. The nurse texted me this morning and said, "Uh, I think you left your Bible in the med cart." I went to get it, then I got home and cleaned and we had thanxgiving dinner today instead of tomorrow cuz I have to work 3-11 at MC.

Ellllioooootttt.....

Which Law & Order Detective Are You?

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I'm Elliot. He's my fav L&O character :)

Luke Skye Walker

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:)

He seriously doesn't smile....ever.

Which Criminal Minds Character Are You?

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Apparently I'm Hotch....my friend Kristin called it, and I didn't believe her. I was thinking, "No way. Just no way." I mean, I admire the guy, and for some reason have a strange respect/fascination for him, but I mean seriously speaking, the guy doesn't smile. Ever. But for some reason, he's like my favorite character.

After watching the show, I do see the similarities between Hotch and myself....
I'm like him at work. I'm totally focused on what I'm doing, and purpose driven. I want to get the job done. I mean, for example, a couple weeks ago, my boss got fired right in front of me, and I didn't even notice cuz I was so focused on my work. Several times, other staff (including my boss) have stopped me and said, "smile, Deb, smile" cuz I'm so focused and overwhelmed by what I have to do, that forget to.

Anyone that knows me outside of work may not believe this, because when I'm not working, I'm pretty layed back. But during work, I'm DRIVEN. Dude, I could go an entire day without smiling if that day includes a couple falls, some episodes of vomiting and an admission. A couple weeks ago (maybe the same day my boss got fired), my other boss came to me and said, "Oh, by the way, you have three admissions today." Three? THREE!!?? I basically told her, "Please excuse me while I walk out of here and never come back."

Everything ended up working out in the end, even though I sent one patent to the hospital because he wasn't urinating into his Foley, and when i tried to straight cath him, all this blood and junk came out and was on the catheter. And he was in alot of pain. I was like, "Great. This is probably the worse day ever." This an example where I did not smile the entire day.

Ok, so those are some examples how I am like Hotch. And this is what I get for having a best friend who's obsessed with Criminal minds and is also a psych major.