steps to a healthier me

I've been trying a new thing: eating an apple every day. Today and yesturday I ate an apple and a banana. I've been doing the apple (or sometimes a banana) thing almost every day for about a month now. I hope that I'm healthier. I've also tried drinking more water, and two nights ago I went to bed at 10pm. 10pm!!! So yeah, little by little I'm trying to work my way to a healthier me. Exercise is difficult though. I have almost no time to go to the gym, and it's been too cold for a walk or a run, but hopefully Spring and my future rotations will help me to start exercising again.
I want to feel good, and not tired all the time. I want to be able to think clearly and quickly (whole grains and fish is good for that), and I want to be able the best that the potential God gave me allows.
I am His temple, and therefore, I want to take care of His temple. Inside and Out.

the Boy

I just wanted to take the time to contibute this posting to the Boy.
He is one of my best friends. Through the months since we became ministry partners (back in August), we have grown so much together. In our relationship with each other, as well as our relationship with God.
The Boy has always been there for me to answer my questions, explain things about the Bible and ministry, and to pray with me. He has also been the brunt of many venting sessions. Never have I found someone my age with so much knowlege, wisdom, and zeal for Christ. It is a rarity.
I really, really appreciate him. Alot. He is truly a gift and a blessing from Almighty God.
So, yes. Praise God for godly relationships and cool people who want to obey God and seek Him with everything they are.
Praise God.

women's ministry, SNA

I've gotten alot of encouragement from people about my walk with Christ over the past few weeks, and I am excited. I know I'm doing ok...but I don't want to settle... and I am figuring out a little of what God wants me to be doing on the campus this semester. Ministry. Specifically, women's ministry:

*Intercessery prayer for my women
*Prayer that they would be filled with the Holy Spirit
*Whatever words God speaks through me
*Building a trusting relationship
*Being a listening ear and a counselor/advisor only when needed--and always going back to the Word for advice
*Being a loving support and compassionate friend

I have been appointed by the administrator of Saturday Night Alive (but more specifically by God) to be the Women's Ministry Leader. Right now, the women's ministry is very unofficial, and it's just me and God. And that's fine. When the time is right, God will provide others to do what I do.
I'm just praying that I don't get in over my head.
I've got to go. Library beckons.

la paz pt.2

Last night (ie. early this morning) I failed to mention something about the Mexico missions team presentation.
The team went to Mexico to work on the church building, teach VBS to the children, and do whatever other tasks needed to be done.
While there, the team met a family. It consisted of a mother, a father, a daughter, and five grandchildren. The daughter is around my age--21. She has five small children. Her father is a drug addict who prostitutes her for money to feed his addiction. The children are from different "clients."
Hearing this broke my heart.
A lot of people were focusing on the children, but the Lord broke my heart for the young mother.
I want to go to Mexico with the missions team next year, if only to meet that young mother and tell her, "Este es un homre. Se llamo Jesus. Te ama." Yes, that is what I will say. Then I will pray for her. I am already praying for her.

la paz

SNA tonite was actually pretty good. The La Paz, Mexico missionary team from CBC presented, and even though I had already heard their testimonies last Sunday, I was still blessed. God works. One of the guys on the missions team who is from Colombia and therefore knows Spanish said he would be able to teach me some Spanish at some point (over coffee!) I am excited about that. His friend (who is also Hispanic) taught me how to Salsa. Tonight was alot of fun.
I found out tonight that I could play the song "Blessed be your name" very well on the piano..that's a blessing. God has been cultivating this talent for the piano 100-fold over the past few months. I started playing only in November, and I played my first song for SNA in December when Minister Neil came and spoke. I played and sang "Praise Adonai." Now I know many chords and can play many songs. To God be all the glory for that.
Church tomorrow. I'm planning on going with the Boy to his penacostal church in PA. I've been there once, and it's definitly not something I'm used to, but I still like it. One of the members there is a prophet. Maybe God will use him to speak to me tomorrow. It's not a huge deal because God speaks to me through His Word all the time.

Tonight I asked GOD, "What does it mean to 'remain in Me'?" I was refering to the passage in John 15 about the vine and the branches.
He answered me even before my entire thought was completed. "By living according to My Word."

Nuff said.
Hearing from God is actually quite easy. There are 66 books chock full of stuff that God is saying. Anything heard outside of the Scriptures must line up with the Scriptures, (there are many verses to back this up) or I'm sorry, boy, but you ain't hearin' from God.
Nuff said.

v-tach

I don't know why I'm always tired all the time. It's probably a lack-of-exercise thing. Also I go to bed too late.

The Boy came over last night and we watched the newest Bond flick, Casino Royal. Pretty sweet. My favorite part is when he difibrilates himself after he goes into ventricular tachycardia. I like the new Bond...even thought he's blonde.

I love my internship at the Senior Center. Yesturday, someone asked my advice for her diabetes. I tried to do the best I could...which was refering her to a doctor.

No one has fallen or fainted or stopped breathing or seized or died on my watch today...yet.

SNA tonight. Week 2 of being off the worship team. It feels good.

My Bible-reading and prayer life has been decreased in the past week or 2. I've got to get on that instead of watching Bond flicks with the Boy or checking my email every 5 minutes, or writing this.

trust

Vision tonight. Spiritual advisor-ness beckons. I told the WT at SNA that I would be back with them in a few weeks. I'm not so sure that will happen. God is leading me in a different direction for now. Sure, I would like to join back up with the team in a few weeks, and I'm sure there will be a huge need for my talent and experience, but I feel like God is simply saying, "Trust me in this." I have no idea how worship is going to happen without a worship team, but I think God has something up His sleeves. This being said, the Boy always mentions how we don't nessesarily need music to worship God. I'm excited....and a bit nervious to say the least. But God is moving, and most of all, He is in CONTROL. Why do I doubt? Why do I try to take things upon myself because I don't think they will work out otherwise? If God is in it, things WILL work out....better than I could have even hoped.
In other news, I started my internship 2 days ago at the Newark Senior Center. I love it. My supervisor is really cool. I think she has ADHD. I like talking to the Seniors. For some reason, things always happen at the lunch tables that I randomly sit at. Yesturday, it was someone's birthday at the table, and the old people kept feeding me cupcakes. Today, a lady at my table had a seizure, and I had to hold her body down while she was convulsing so she wouldn't fall to the ground.
I wonder what Tomorrow will bring??
Praise God.

clinical

Ok, I'm spending wayyyyy too much time procrastinating, and not enough time doing what I need to do. So what else is new?
I started my first clinical rotation of the semester--community health at the Newark Senior Center. It's a sweet place with nice people. It will be pretty easy and layed back, so I'd better enjoy it now before rotation 2 with medsurg on the cardiac step-down unit. Ugh. I can't even think about that.

Medsurg 2.
Team leader 2nd day.
2 patients.
tons of med questions.
Wilmington.
Cardiac.
AAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!

It's not for 4 weeks, but I'm getting scared now. I feel like I don't know how to do anything.

::house cleaning still in progress::

prayer night

Prayer night tonight. *sigh.*
The other night I prayed by myself in a dark room upstairs in the church building right before SNA. It was amazing. I had forgotten how much I loved to pray like that. It's been a while since I've been to Isaac's prayer night in 130 Smith -- a lecture hall. We used to walk up and down the stairs, lay on the floor, stand in the front, sit in the back...do anything we wanted while we were praying. Isaac would start us out, and boy, were his prayers powerful and with authority! I'm not saying that other people's prayers arn't as powerful, but this guy was a sweet pray-er.
Oh, and how we would pray! We prayed for the campus, we prayed for the students, the profs, the faculty... Oh, it was amazing. I remember one night near the beginning of my experiences at Isaac's prayer nights, I was spiritually healed. It was by the grace of God alone that I was healed. I had been going through a spiritual depression for more than a year...it had gotten to the point that I actually thought I was clinically depressed. Mom was worried about me.
I went to prayer night reluctantly. A good friend and mentor took me there. I sat down, unable to pray silently, let alone out loud. I was depressed. I was upset. I had been trying and trying to get close to God, but it didn't seem to be working. I had had a difficult summer, and I had thought that going back to school would make things better. It did a little, but not much. I did not want to live this way.
A good friend of mine, and a man I now recognize as a spiritual leader, sat down next to me. He had never really talked to me or acknowledged my existance. Now he was asking me what was wrong. I had trouble telling him. Finally, all I could say was, "I'm struggling in my faith."
And he prayed for me. Oh, how he prayed with power and authority. I could literally sense all the black stuff, the sin and the pain and the guilt that was holding me back from having real freedom in Christ leave. My heart was washed clean, my guilt and pain was gone, and I was renewed.
I was so happy. No--joyful. I cannot express the joy I felt. God loved me! God wanted to be close to me! I felt so good. I felt so free. God is good.
Things like that should happen at prayer nights.
A few things like that have happened to me since, but not as dramatic or life changing. God is a powerful God. He is so good, and wishes to give us things. All we have to do is ask.
So...prayer night tonight. I know that God can move like he did 2 years ago at Isaac's. He is not limited one bit.

free

I'm finally free. Jesus set me free.

extended breaks

All will be revealed soon enough because God is moving.

After much prayer, thought, counsel from trusted friends, and diliberation, I have decided that it is time for me to quit the worship team for a period of time--perhaps forever if that is what the Lord wills. It's just as well, because Vision is starting up again tonight, and I've got a semester of spiritual advising to do. Other than that, the unofficial women's ministry beckons. Yesturday was hard for me, but I am looking positively toward the future. God will do what God will do whether I am part of the team or not.
Praise God.

dust bunnies

**I have deleted portions of this posting due to the fact that this blog is going very public. This posting is about some difficulties going on in the ministry. I know I'm being vauge, and I'm sorry, but I do not want to risk slandering anyone.**

"The horse is made ready for the day of battle, but victory rests with the Lord."-Proverbs 21:31
"For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, and against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms."
Evil is really, really real. There is more going on under the surface than anyone can imagine.
I plead my case: I have prayed furvantly that the Lord reveal any and all offences inside of me so that I can have a clean conscience. I have searched the Scriptures long and hard for answers as well as been counseled by a wise, well-versed in the Word, strong relationship with the Lord, well-trusted pastor.
The Word says, "Examine yourself to see if you are in the faith; test yourself" (2Cor. 13:5a). I have examined myself time and time again, and the Lord has, in fact, pointed out things that I needed to work on, or repent of, or make right. And I have been obedient. I have done all these things. I have a clear conscience before the Lord.
The Battle is not mine--it is the Lord's.
Praise God forever and ever, Amen.

today

Flee the evil desires of youth, and pursue righteousness, faith, love and peace, along with those who call on the Lord out of a pure heart. Don't have anything to do with foolish and stupid arguments, because you know they produce quarrels. And the Lord's servant must not quarrel; instead, he must be kind to everyone, able to teach, not resentful. Those who oppose him he must gently instruct, in hope that God will grand them repentance leading them to a knowledge of the truth, and that they will come to their senses and escape from the trap of the devil, who has taken them captive to do his will. ~2 Timothy 2:22-26

no room for holes

SNA worship went well last night, however, today's message from Pastor Tom at Calvary Fellowship was further conformation that we have a false prophet in our midst. The Boy is planning to talk to him on Monday. A clean split is needed in this case. No more playing around and ignoring God.
God is moving...and He will continue to move and do greater things than even before. I know I'm being vauge, but I cannot post details that have not come out in the open yet. And I do not wish to risk slandering anyone's name.

Lord God,
I pray for a unified campus in Christ as well as Christians on campus who are on fire for Christ and the gospel.
I pray that the sleeping giant may be awakened soon, and that Christ's power may rest in all of us as we spread His Holy Word on this dark, desolate, and defeated University of Delaware campus.
And I pray that, using this army of His people, God may move powerfully to take back what is rightfully His....a campus which was founded by a pastor upon Biblical truths. Amen and Amen.

Philippians 1:9-11

revival

Last night, the Boy and I had an amazing time at Beth Yeshua. Even though Rabbi Joe spoke instead of Rabbi Chernoff, it was still cool. We had great worship led by none other but Greg Silverman and the youth band. We sang "Revival," which is one of my favorites from Greg.
After the service, the Boy and I went up for prayer. I asked prayer for the campus, and the couple that I was with prayed for the oppression on the campus, the Christian community on campus, and that there would be opportunities and open doors for me to be a witness. I am extremely greatful for these prayers.
The Boy, on the other hand, recieved two prophacies from another couple, which are very beneficial to some difficulties we are going through with the ministry.
Hooray! Praises for good grades!! I recieved an "A-" in my voodoo class! This is probably my first "A" in a nursing course during my college career. And I'm a senior haha! Praise God! This will give my GPA quite a boost! haha, just kidding. I've accepted the fact that my GPA is somewhere on the ground. As long as I become a good nurse--that's all that matters.

voodoo

My "voodoo" class ends today yay! I'm fed up with that rediculousness. I've still got to take the online final though. I gave up reading the text a while ago because I couldn't stand the constant double-talk and hazy explainations of far-out-there concepts. Not my cup of tea. I'm done with that.

The Boy called me up during lunch hour to pray for my exam. That was nice.

Beth Yeshua on the schedule for tonight. Can't wait to be back there. Last time, I was annointed and prophacied over. That was cool. Worship is absoluely amazing there. I've never felt the presence of GOD stronger anywhere else. And I love Rabbi Chernoff. He's so funny.

I'm thinking of sharing a passage from Deuteronomy during worship tomorrow night at SNA. That will flip some lids. I'm keeping that idea under wraps for now, though. Got to make sure my intentions are pure.

holiness

Ezekiel 36:23-29a
"I will show the holiness of my great name, which has been profaned among the nations, the name you have profaned among them. Then the nations will know that I am the Lord," declares the Soverign Lord, "when I show myself holy through you before their eyes. For I will take you out of the nations; I will gather you from all the countries and gring you back into your own land. I will sprinkle clean water on you, and you will be clean; I will cleanse you from all your impurities and from all your idols. I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you; I will remove from you your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh. And I will put my Spirit in you and move you to follow my decrees and be careful to keep my laws. You will live in the land I gave your forefathers; you will be my people, and I will be your GOD. I will save you from all your uncleanness."

Ezekiel 36:36b
"I the Lord have spoken, and I will do it."

victory

Can't say much, but revival is just around the corner. The Boy had a vision/prophacy about SNA. I was in it as well. Things are going to get better, I know it.

"Greater things will I do," sayith the Lord,"Rely on me for your strength."

Praise be to the Lord God Almighty, who is good to His Word. Praise be to Him for His loving kindness; for His grace.

May Hasatan be crushed under the heel of Him who reigns in victory forever.

for the record

I am feeling rebelious. Yesturday, the Boy discouraged me in my ambition to dye my hair. So last night, I lay in bed thinking about being rebelious. My thoughts began at dying my hair some exotic color, which turned to getting a nose ring, which then turned to getting a tattoo. The Boy would definitly flip out if this happened.
Funeral today. To be honest, I'm more nervous in seeing most of my old classmates, than seeing a dead Nikki (who, apparently died of a heroin overdose according to Ally). Hopefully this will change. I hate funerals. I always run out of tissues. I'll bring the whole box this time.
Praise be to God.

day two

In between work shifts. My co-workers are sometimes jealous that I get a two-hour break every day. I also get less salary then them. It doesn't matter much. Flexability is more valuable to me now that I'm in school. I'll be in the real world soon enough.

Speaking of the real world, a friend of mine from my high school class and soccer team died last week. They don't know if it was a murder or a suicide. They found her in the bedroom with traces of heroin, and her ex-boyfriend hanging in the garage. It's still under investigation.

In other news, I was talking to my co-worker today about witnessing. She's a Christian and an avid evangelizer, which has been a blessing since I started working at the Nursing Home. We are praying for salvation of many of the staff and family at the Nursing Home. God has given me an open door to build a relationship with one of the young LPNs there. She is seeking, I know. I just have to be obedient and present the Gospel to her. God will do the rest.

this is me

First blog ever. Got to make this quick and informal. I'm trying to finish up a bunch of homework stuffs for my "voodoo" class. This time we learned about T'ai Chi Ch'uan. Not bad stuff, but I always get a little confuzzled when they talk about the "ch'i" (or "qi") Chinese energy force. Some of this stuff is actually beneficial, I believe, you just got to remember who created it.
Ok, a friend of mine is turning 21....bowling party tonight as well as hopefully finishing up my photo assignment for this week.
BREATH! One week left, then a 10 day break before clinicals start.