Day 11 of being stuck at home trying to figure out what I'm going to do with my life. My parents sat me down for yet another interrogation last night. I feel stuck. And my parents just don't understand. Every time I venture to express my feelings and perhaps seek some advice from my all-too-wise parents, it turns into a bad idea. So, I'm just keeping things to myself...which of course they don't like.
So, This is me, Deb, floating through life, simply existing right now. No plan; no purpose. Surviving rather than thriving.
I am trusting God, but each passing day is harder. Sometimes I just don't want to get up in the morning. And I'm bored, but I'm avoiding the things I know I should be doing.
Seems like I need a healthy dose of discipline. Something that, for me, is extremely difficult to aquire. Just do it! Yeah, well, I wish it were that easy. Motivation is definitly something that I struggle with. Appathy sets in quickly and starts attacking ferociously.
And.... my will to persevere decreases rapidly.
Christ is my only stronghold. Where would I be without Him?
Dead, probably.
Without my God, there would truly be no point in going on.
Now that I am done my self-pity rant, I need to turn all focus to the ONE who has saved me from phyisical, spiritual, and eternal death. HE alone has power over the world and the evil forces that inhabit it. HE alone could save me by sacrificing Himself for my wrong-doings. And HE alone is to be exhalted.
May hasatan, the enemy be crushed under the feet of the Savior, Yeshua forever. he is so small and insignificant. he lies and cheats for his gain. may he be damned soon and very soon.
I will praise His holy name, for He alone is worthy of all praise.
He is my protector, provider and salvation.
May He be my First Love. For now and until eternity.
Baruch Ha Shem Yeshua Ha Meshach, bless the name of the Messiah, Jesus.
yeah. I'm strange. but being radical for Christ is alot more fun then being appathetic ;)
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